Untitled Goose Game AU - Maribat stuff
by serp0517
Summary: What would happen if a goose broke into the Wayne Manor? Chaos that's for sure. Let's witness the mayhem such a fluffy creature can cause. Damien x Mari stuff, inspired by ozmav's on tumblr, so ya.


CH.1 Of the Untitled Goose Game AU with some Maribat fluff

The Goose Raids the Manor

It was a peaceful day in the city of Gotham, or at least as peaceful as it could get. However, it was especially peaceful in the Wayne Manor, where all the brothers of the Wayne family simply resided in. The oldest, Dick Grayson, was currently doing his hair for his long-awaited date for his one true love, Cor'i.

The second oldest, Jason Todd, was raiding the kitchen, attempting to make the tallest sub he could possibly make, much to the dismay of Alfred, the family butler.

The second youngest, Tim Drake, was currently in the confines of his room, looking into the latest mystery to solve. Taking in a sip of his coffee, as he typed on the keyboard of his laptop.

The youngest Wayne of the household, Damien Wayne, was currently practicing his sword techniques, while video chatting his precious angel, Marinette Dupain – Cheng, who was entranced by his fighting style, totally not eye-fucking the many muscles of her long-term boyfriend. Damien simply gave her a mischievous grin, knowing damn well what he did to her, and all the flustered bluenette could do was to blush as red as her Ladybug persona.

"Like what you see here, Angel~" he teased to his lover. The French-Asian Parisian simply pouted, scrunching her cute button nose that made the ex-assassin swoon.

"In your dreams Dami-poo!" The bluenette retorted back, the nickname full of sass. Damien simply rolled his eyes, and continued his exercise, oblivious to the goose that broke into the mansion window, somehow not triggering the security to go off.

The white-feathered intruder simply waddled its way out of the training room, and made its way down the hall, towards the kitchen, where Jason was still attempting to make his impossibly tall sandwich.

"Come on, just a few more layers." Was all the man-child could utter under his breathe. He was so deep in the task, that the goose waddled his way to a butter knife left unattended on the kitchen floor. He picked it up with his beak, and waddled his way out of the kitchen, leaving the totally focused boy on his quest to achieving the tallest sub in world history.

Tim, getting bored of finding nothing on whatever he was researching, became curious of what is currently going on in the mansion, so he pulled up the security cam feed, (stalking) observing his brothers and their endeavors. He saw Jason in the kitchen (much to the dismay of Alfred), making the tallest sub he's ever seen, Dick currently doing his hair, which looked ridiculous, and Demon Spawn smiling sickly to his i-pad, possibly video chatting with Marinette, the only person in the world who could calm the mess that is his younger brother. Tim simply rolled his eyes and muttered something about happy couples should go commit die (mood). But despite their interesting antics, what made Tim the most curious of was witnessing a duck, or goose, break into the Wayne Manor WITHOUT triggering the defense system?!

"What the hell?" was all the caffeine addict could mutter as he witnessed this ninja-duck thing go undetected by his youngest, who was probably too distracted by Mari, but still managed to go UNDETECTED by an EX-ASSASSIN!?

"How did Demon Spawn not notice that thing?" due to morbid curiosity, and because the hacker was bored, Tim Drake had decided to film what this goose thing could do. He witnessed the bird going into the kitchen, where Jason was still trying to make his ridiculous sub.

Letting out a snort, Tim was feeling excited over the prospect of what was about to go down.

The goose managed to get its beak on a butter knife and left the room.

"Well that was anti-climactic." He muttered, feeling disappointed. But still curious, kept tabs on where this goose was going.

The goose had managed to stumble upon Dick's room despite the Manson practically being a maze. The oldest brother was currently taking a shower, so he never got to witness what this goose was about to do. The first thing the goose did, was take the comb off Dick's desk and threw it across the room. The animal then got on top of the stool and started going through the drawers, till the thing stumbled upon some sort of chap stick. The goose ran off with it before Dick could get out of the bathroom.

After his 20-minute shower, Dick went to his desk, and immediately found his stool was on its side, with the drawers open haphazardly. Dick immediately ran to his desk, to see what the perpetrator took, and finding that his comb and his cherry flavored Chapstick were both gone. The overly dramatic adult yelled at the top of his lungs.

"JASON!" Tim was bawling at the scene he just witnessed. But much to Tim's delight witnessed the bird waddle straight into the kitchen. Jason, still unaware of the world around him, was still stacking his impossibly long sub, hoping to break a world record or something.

"HONK!" which started the gunman, almost knocking his sub down. Annoyed, Jason looked around the kitchen to find the source of what startled freight. Tim was snickering from his computer screen to see that the goose had hid behind the counter from Jason's observing eyes. After scanning around the room some more, Jason went back to making the world's tallest sub. The goose went around the corner, and inched closer towards the unsuspecting Wayne, and then honked.

"HONK!"

"JESUS FUCKIING CHRIST!" Jason yelled as he turned towards where the source could be, only to find that there was no one, then he looked down, and found that there was a cherry flavored Chapstick on the floor.

"What the fuck, is this some sort of prank?" was all he muttered as Jason slowly made his way to pick up the object.

"HONK!"

"AGH!" as he instinctively jumped like a startled cat away from the noise and face-planted toward the tile-covered floor. Groaning in pain, he got up and looked around the kitchen for anything suspicious.

"Tim, I swear to god if it is you, I'm gonna beat your ass." He promised. The goose sneakily went behind him the whole time, until finally, Jason turned around, and then stared down to see the perpetrator of that noise.

"What the fuck is a duck doing here?" he questioned. He went to go pick it up, only for the nasty thing to honk menacingly.

"Honk!"

"Woah there buddy, I'm not gonna hurt ya, let me just um move ya outta here, nice lil Duckie?" He attempted to pacify the 'duck' only for it to spread it's wings, honk, and charge.

"Ah shit!" as a game of cat and mice, or in this case, duck and human ensued.

"Who the hell let this thing in here?!" Jason screeched at the top of his lungs. The man-child got so caught up in being chased that he didn't notice the little fucker leave not to long ago, along with the chap stick. By the time Jason was aware that there was no duck chasing him, Dick barged right in the kitchen, fuming with rage

"Where the hell is my chap stick Jason?! You know I have a date with Kor'i and I can't get to third base without it!" he demanded. Jason, still stumped from that ordeal with the psycho 'duck' was looking around the kitchen.

"What the hell are you looking for? It better be my chap stick Jason!" Was all the dramatic adult screamed. Jason, finally having enough of Dick's shit retorted back.

"I don't care about you getting laid Dick, help me find a duck."

"What duck?"

"There was a psycho duck not to long ago that had your chap stick, was it cherry- flavored?"

"Jason I swear to god if your fucking with me I'mma throw these hands at ya!"

"I'm serious bro! This phsyco duck just tried to end my life!" Dick just rolled his eyes at him as though he were a child, which he was being.

"Look, I know I'm not the most serious at times"

"Ain't that the truth." Dick retorted. Jason just glared at him.

"But this time it's serious, that duck almost poked my eyes out!" At this point, Tim got bored, so he went over to a panel that showed where the duck was head, and in this case, in Demon Spawn's bedroom.

"Oh this is going to be good" Tim thought evily.

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Damien finished his training, sweat trickling down his well defined muscles. The little Wayne made extra sure to display his tantalizing muscles to the girl on the other side of the screen. The designer's eyes trailed along his pecks, to his well-defined abs, and even his back muscles, Jesus is it hot in here or it just her. (Honestly same gurl). Tugging on her collar nervously to let some steam out of her, she visibly gulped and diverted her eyes away from the glorious sight displayed in front of her. If her mother saw her now, she'd be smirking at her for her damn hormones going nuts.

"Why does my boyfriend have to be so hot." Was all the French teen muttered to herself.

"Oh I'm hot now?" he teased back. Did I just say that out loud.

"Oh yes you did Angel." He chuckled. Shit! Suddenly Damien looked alarmed and looked around room. Marinette began to worry too.

"Hey, um, Damien? What's going on?" She asked, her voice filled with concern.

"It's my brothers' their arguing about chap stick or something. Honestly, it's a typical day in the manor. Surprised something didn't get broken yet." He mused, but Marinette's eyes were bulging.

"What do you mean broken?" Marinette asked in alarm.

"Don't worry about it, Angel, it's nothing serious, trust me, those brothers of mine always seem to know how to cause a scene." He non-chantingly responded. The bluenette did NOT feel better about that, but if her Damien said so, then so be it.

Damien, while on video-chat with his precious angel, Marinette, walked in his bedroom, only to find his place completely trashed. Like trashed.

"Damien, what's wrong?! Why are you so quiet? What happened to your room?" she began to panic. Was this the 'scene' Damien was talking about? A bit extreme, and kind of cruel. Who would do something so cruel to her Dami?

"Love, I think I'm gonna have to call you again later." As Damien preceded to cut the call with his beloved.

"Love you Damien." His angel cooed back. God he wanted to kiss her cute face – no focus Damien!

"TODD! GRAYSON! DRAKE!" he yelled, shaking the entire manor with his blood curdling scream.

"Oh shit, things are getting out of control… let's just keep watching" Tim continued to watch the shit show that is his brothers. That goose is a monster and Tim wished to adopt it. They already have Titunus, but he's with Cass on a mission.

"GRAYSON! DRAKE! TODD!" The youngest, and possibly the most menacing of the four brothers, broke into the kitchen to find two of his brothers bickering. But what drew his attention was the cartoonish tall sub sitting on the table top.

"tst, Jason." Was all he muttered.

"Hey what the hell are you two yelling about?!" Damien broke the bickering adults of their argument. Jason looked tired, and Dick looked ready to cut a bitch.

"This fucker took my chap stick!"

"I did not! I'm telling you it was that psycho duck!" Jason pleaded. Demon spawn simply rolled his eyes at Jason's antics again.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, I know what I saw! Look let's go to Tim's room and see the footage from there!" Dick and Damien looked at each other, then back at Jason, and then chaos ensured. Tim was laughing his brains out at this point. He kept laughing, oblivious to the goose walking in his room, placing the chap stick discreetly on his table, and took what looked to be an important flash drive, and waddled on out of there.

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"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY SANDWICH! DEMON SPAWN I'D UNDERSTAND, BUT YOU DICK GRAYSON, ARE NOTHING BUT A DICK! I HOPE COR'I DUMPS YOUR SORRY ASS!" At this point Jason was bawling on the floor over the loss of his perfect sub. Damien simply rolled his eyes, while Dick looked guilty.

"I didn't mean to ruin your sandwich Jason, I swear, I slipped on this slab of butter(?). Come on Damien we better clean this place up before Alfred comes in here and judges us all." Damien shudders at the reminder of the butler Alfred, and his disappointed look. Damien agreed as the two cleaned up the place, while Jason balled himself in a corner, tears still cascading down his face.

"Monster, monster, sandwich ruiner. Repent for your sins Grayson, retribution will come your way." He chanted eerily to himself. Dick looked just about done with his antics and was about to give a piece of his mind, until Tim broke into the kitchen as well, looking startled.

"Guys! Have any of you seen a small, blue-green portable flash drive anywhere?" Tim spoke, as he scanned the kitchen for any signs of it.

"What was in the drive?" Damien asked slowly, afraid of where this was going.

"The records of the latest mystery on the Joker." Dick face palmed.

"How could you lose something as important as that?" He asked, so done with his incompetent brothers. Jason was still in mourning over the loss of his precious sub.

"My sandwich, my beautiful sandwich." He mourned. Dick exploded.

"Enough with the sandwich! We have a literal code red, that file has all the proof that the Wayne family is in fact the Bat Family!"

"Scream louder Grayson, I'm sure whoever is spying on us will just love that."

"Ugh can we please stop arguing, we need to fix this mess before Bruce – Before I what Tim?" Bruce Wayne interrupted. The room went quiet. No one dared to even utter a breath. Even Jason fell out of his mourning for his sandwich and got up on his two feet.

"What happened here?" the man spoke. The four brothers all looked at each other, before Tim decided to answer.

"A goose is what happened."

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And scene! That was Chapter one of the Untitled Goose Game Crossover with Mari Bat stuff. Oh boy I can't wait for more chaos to ensue.

Will the boys get the flash drive back?

What is this goose planning?

Is Bruce just about ready to give these boys the scolding of a lifetime? Probably, but stay tuned for more messed-up adventures. Let's see where I'll go with this.


End file.
